I Made It!

I am officially full-term today!

Goals 2009

1. Make necessary doctor's appointments that I have been avoiding; Go to scheduled appointments and proceed as advised.
2. Acclimate to motherhood positively and to the best of my abilities, relax a bit, and ask for help when I need it after the baby gets here; Enjoy and make productive use out of the time I have with my new child; Make appropriate decisions regarding going back to work on a full-time, part-time, or on a purely per project-based schedule.
3. Travel to and live in Argentina for one month with the new family unit.
4. Continue to learn how to better manage finances and stick to budget; Put together a financial action plan and make forward progress with our goals.
5. Decide whether to keep or sell the MINI.
6. Find my way back to a workable workout regimen after the baby arrives; Workout 4-5 times a week as long as it is not detrimental to my recovery; Decide whether or not to join a new workout facility, purchase cardio equipment, and/or join CrossFit with J.
7. Practice proactivity in my recovery; Recognize when I need help and ask for it since that was somewhat of a struggle for me in 2008; Continue to use the support system I have in place.
8. Make the two most vital home improvements to the house: 1. New roof, and 2. Start gutting and remodeling the second floor of the house in order to have more functional, livable space for a growing family; Complete the finished room in the basement and get the new home office completely set-up and useable; Get better organized and rid our lives of unnecessary clutter, donate and/or throw away items we no longer need or want; Finish landscaping the front yard of the house; Start making decisions on how to proceed with future improvement projects.
9. Maintain current healthy relationships, purge the unhealthy relationships, improve relationships I want to keep but are currently suffering, and develop and grow healthy new relationships.
10.Work on the spiritual side of my life.

Review of 2008 Goals

It's a little over two weeks into the New Year, which means it is time to post my thoughts regarding the goals I set for myself last year. I mentioned some intitial thoughts about these goals in my NYE post, but today I will delve into each individual goal more thoroughly to see what I actually did well and the areas I could certainly use some improvement. I annually review my previous year's goals before I post a new year's goals, and while I haven't posted my review(s) on blogger before (typically keeping my reviews personal), there is a first time for everything. So let's get started.

Review of 2008 Goals

1. Train, run, and complete the Cleveland Half-Marathon. Goal not achieved. While I did train for the half-marathon for a few months, I stopped training when I realized we would be in Argentina for 6+ weeks in April and May, not returning until a few days before the marathon. This being my second lengthy trip to Buenos Aires, I knew going into it that my abilities to train properly would be just about nil. For starters, when down there the work hours tend to be very long and productive - I'm talking 65-80+ hour work weeks. Then there are the social aspects - spending time with friends and co-workers, going out, being entertained and entertaining, etc. And the timeframes for things such as meals are quite lengthy - example, the typical dinner hour starts between 9 and 10PM and lasts a good 2 hours. After working a 12-16 hour day, then going to eat, not getting home until after midnight, generally means not a ton of time to train - and if you have trained for a long race before, you know it takes up a decent amount of time. So that trip was where I fell off the wagon with training. I did end up getting a lot of exercise down there as walking to various destinations is so easy, but I did not get the half-marathon training in and I was okay with it; Since I knew going into the extended trip to Argentina, that if I was honest with myself, I really wouldn't be racing in Cleveland when I returned.

2. Begin development on my first book; Write at least thirty minutes a day, five times a week. Goal not achieved. I began development on the book, but it fell to the wayside. And I'm not sure when I'll get back to it. Inspiration eluded me on it, so I gave up. The writing 30 minutes a day, 5x a week also didn't happen AT ALL in 2008. I lacked the internal drive and structure to force myself to actually do it. Again, inspiration also eluded me on this one.

3. Broaden freelance network base; Forge ahead with career change; Do rewarding work. Goal achieved. Work was steady this year. I switched gears from the Human Resources and Recruiting realm to the Technical Writing world. Suffice it to say, I have not totally abandoned HR, as my advice and expertise does get called upon from time to time, but I would say I have begun to make a successful career shift. This was a pretty huge change for me as I had been in the HR/Recruiting world for almost eight years if you include the work I performed as an undergraduate out in Arizona (six if we're talking purely business world and not academia). The change has been nothing short of challenging, frustrating, and rewarding all at the same time.

4. Learn all the ins and outs of CSS; Finish website; Develop and launch two new websites; Become more well-versed in the tech world. Goal partially achieved. Regarding this goal: I read some books, did numerous practice exercises, but never got to the ultimate goal of actually launching one website, let alone two. And while I might still eventually launch my website, I might also just plug it into what I have here on blogger. I know, I know. It's the lazy man's route, but the website launch became less of a priority as the year progressed. As far as becoming well-versed in the tech world, I must say I am getting better as each day passes...even with pregnant brain.

5. Continue to circularly practice proactivity in my recovery. Goal achieved. While I did fall off the horse during the first half of 2008, with not necessarily eating adequately, exercising a little too much, and not necessarily listening to the experts and people who love me when it came to my recovery, I did manage to hop back on during the second half of the year. This was probably largely due to me finding out I was going to have a baby in 2009. Let me just say, that finding out about the babe's impending delivery was the swift kick in the pants I needed. I never thought I would actually be able to conceive (let me say it was quite THE surprise when I found out I had), and while the timing wasn't ideal, conceiving the Flash is/was an unexpected gift - a gift not to be messed up. From the moment I found out, I knew I had to get back on the horse, and continue to work hard and do what my doctors advised me to do in both the best interests of the baby and myself. So while the first half of 2008 was difficult with recovery, the second half became that much easier because I felt I had more of a purpose to keep forging ahead. It all started to make sense to me, I guess. That's the only way I can really explain it.

6. Learn how to better manage finances and stick to budget. Goal achieved. YES! All credit cards are now paid off. J and I are still working on some imbalances with the spending, but I think that we made some seriously positive steps in the right direction dureing 2008, only setting ourselves up for a better 2009. The most important thing I think I learned from this goal was that when there are two or more people involved in a household budget, honesty from all parties involved is key as well as being able to openly discuss finances. If J and I hadn't been honest with one another, I don't think we would have gotten the credit cards paid off, and we wouldn't have plans on how to tackle our next debt goals. I know having a baby in 2009 is certainly going to throw us for a loop, but I feel better prepared to deal with it since we have an open line of communication.

7. Travel to at least three new places this year; Continue to save money for trip to Sweden. Goal partially achieved. I technically travelled to at least two new places this year: When we went to Buenos Aires, we stayed in a new neighborhood and also did quite a bit of exploring in areas of the city I had never been to, and I also took a trip to Charlotte, NC back in August to visit with one of my oldest friends and best people, Dayna. I didn't get to a third place, I don't think. And as far as saving money for a trip to Sweden, that didn't happen either. Money that was going to be saved for a big trip like that was spent on getting out of debt and the impending baby arrival. I'm thinking we won't be able to take a good, long trip to Sweden for at least four or five years now, so that's going to the backburner for awhile.

8. Train, workout five-six times a week as long as it does not adversely affect my recovery; Begin regular pilates classes. Goal not achieved. Well, I was working out about 5 times a week for say, the first quarter of the year, but then that stopped when we went to BA. And while I did get a decent amount of exercise down there, it wasn't "dedicated" workout time. Then after we got back from the trip, I started working out a lot again (somewhat to the detriment of my recovery), until I got the mystery 24/7 morning sickness. The sickness lasted 4 or 5 months (I block it out), and I was pretty much rendered useless in most categories of my life during that time. I was none too pleased. Once I was out of the woods with the sickness, I did start to workout with my Core Rhythms dance dvds and do some power walking, but never officially made it back to the gym regularly. I think it was hard for me to find my way back to the gym because the gym I've belonged to for the past three years, has lost its luster with me - not offering the classes I want to take and the service has gone downDOWNdown. And now with a baby on the way, my gym also doesn't have childcare unless I drive 30-45 minutes to the one branch in the city that does have it...So I pretty much need to find a new gym with everything I am seeking or bone up and buy cardio equipment for a home gym and get my butt started at CrossFit (which I had planned on doing before the dreaded sickness).

9. Locate, research, and visit various geographic areas where relocation would be possible in the next three years, so there is a geo-pool from which to choose. Goal partially achieved. Goal was partially achieved in that I would still like to find a way to live in Argentina for 6 months out of the year. There is a small, but feasible chance that we could make a half-year abroad move happen until the baby is of age to enroll in school, but otherwise, I don't really see any other options for relocation for quite awhile. So that goal was kind of pushed to the wayside.

10. Maintain current healthy relationships, purge the unhealthy relationships, improve relationships I want to keep but are currently suffering, and develop and grow healthy new relationships. Goal achieved. I don't think this goal will ever be eliminated from my annual goals. I did work a little harder on this one in 2008, and I have to say, I am pretty happy with where I am at with my relationships.

Notsobendy

As I grow larger and larger, I find it is getting harder and harder to put on my pants, socks, and shoes. It is actually becoming a multi-pronged process. This is somewhat disturbing to me. Just a few more weeks.

36 weeks

35 weeks
Originally uploaded by .karoline

I had my 36 week appointment yesterday, and it is safe to say that all is looking great at this point. J was able to make it to this one thankfully as I was having my first internal check since the first trimester. I am already dilated 1cm. Can you believe it?!

So what does this dilation mean to me and the baby? My doctor says that I will likely be delivering between 38-40 weeks. So pretty much on-time. How's that for my body doing some lean manufacturing. Guaranteed on-time delivery. Hahaha. And here I was thinking the baby would come out late, but apparently she's ready to greet the world on-time, and that makes me very happy.

What else? The babe moves around constantly, the heart rate is normal, growth is good, she's still tilted head down, my weight gain is normal this week, and my blood pressure is low. Going into Monday's appointment, the only thing I was really concerned about was my weight because at my last appointment I was told I had gained too much poundage between appointments. Seven pounds total weight gain. Five pounds "more than necessary."

You see, my doctor's nurse was out so a different doctor's nurse in the practice weighed me in and told me I gained about five more pounds than I needed to between my appointments and that I needed to watch that. I was completely bent out of shape about that being said to me. One reason being that my medical file says that I am to get blindweighted because of my ED history and I ALSO mentioned it when we got to the scale, and then the second reason being was that if she actually glanced at the progress I've been making, my weight gain has been below-average to average (you may remember that I was told I needed to be eating more for awhile there and that I was put on a more structured plan for that), so a five pound surge shouldn't have been too alarming.

So I talked to my doctor about it, she apologized for what happened and told me that my one little piece of extra weight gain was perfectly fine, especially since my weight gain has been healthy and I'm pretty much all baby. Yes, you see, I am not only The Stubborn Swede, I am also the Short-Waisted, Stocky Swede. At this point there is nowhere else for the baby to go but outwards. I am somewhat convinced I am growing the Sasquatch baby. With John being so tall, I am really beginning to wonder. I suppose we will know in just a few weeks.

Ack! My due date is one month away!

Paid Off

As of January 15, all of my credit cards will be paid off! Euphoria!

Now we just need to get the personal loan J took out before we met, and the balance of the MINI loan (or sell it, as I am pretty keen on at the moment with baby arriving soon) paid off, and then all of our higher interest debt will be gone.

When all is said and done, as long as we stick to our guns, we should be totally out of what is considered higher interest debt within the next 1-2 years, leaving us only with the house and remainder of my student loan debt to then tackle moreso than we already are.

I do still need to put the complete action plan together as I am guesstimating on timeframes right now, but two years seems to be a fair estimate.

Have I mentioned I am euphoric?

Books Read - December 2008

Charles Bock, Beautiful Children
Gigi Levangie Granger, The Starter Wife
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Paul Shepherd, More Like Not Running Away
Jean Thompson, Throw Like A Girl

Happy New Year!

Hello 2009! I hope this year is full of happiness, health, and success for all of you, friends!

NYE

It's that time again. The eve of the New Year...which means I will be reviewing my 2008 goals and putting together the official outline for my 2009 goals. I've been thinking quite a bit about my 2009 goals over the past few months, so I definitely have a solid foundation going into the whole process. Some of my goals in 2008 were achieved, some were not. I had some pretty challenging curveballs thrown in my direction this year, and I feel I definitely dealt with them successfully without detriment to my self, my relationships, my recovery, and my work.

Being able to successfully deal is an overall improvement from my past actions and behaviors. I would not have been able to deal had I not learned how to ask for help when I needed it through therapy and the amazing support system I have in place with family, friends, and doctors. I've always had some support beams in place, but I never really took advantage of them before, and through the completely life-changing experiences I went through and survived in 2007, I have learned I cannot do everything alone.

It took time for me to come to terms with opening myself up to others and actually being proactive in my recovery versus my typical modus of paying lip service and acting as though everything was a-okay. Life has been pretty darn amazing since I have opened myself up to really living, and I'm so happy I am still around. I want everyone who has been there for me to know how much they mean to me. I wouldn't be where I am at emotionally, spriritually, mentally, professionally, and even physically without you.

On to 2009!

The Book of Face

I almost signed up for Facebook today. I have been resistant to do so for the past year or two, but now with various friends repeatedly asking me to succumb to the trend, I am/was tempted. I just don't know if I can do it, though. After opening an account on myspace four years ago, proceeding to get somewhat addicted to it, gaining a few stalkers (no thanks to my derby days), then deleting that account only to open a new one later and having to rebuild only makes me that much more hesitant.

Now with my new(er) myspace, I have a more manageable grouping of friends and contacts, and I am hesitant to open a facebook account because of the time I know I will end up spending and wanting to spend on it reconnecting with people, nosing around, building up my network, and possibly feeding my dormant addiction to time sucking vortices. But since a few of my best people have completely abandoned myspace, and even though there is email and this here blog, I feel a little sad not having them there on my friendlies and also not having the ability to hop onto their pages and see what's the haps in their worlds somewhat instantaneously.

So I almost signed up today. But I didn't. Still.

To facebook or not to facebook? Should I do it? Should I not do it?

Judd Apatow - You Are On Notice

While J was on vacation last week, we kind of went on a movie-watching bender. Gosh, I love netflix...but to my point. One of the movies we watched was Stepbrothers. I do not recommend this film to anyone. Not ever. Judd Apatow - you are officially on notice. Stepbrothers was not funny. It was farFARfar from funny. In fact, the only recent movie of Apatow's I've seen and after it ended, thought to myself, "Hmm...that was pretty good," was Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and even FSM wasn't as great as anticipated.

Judd Apatow, I am so OVER you.

32 Weeks

Seven months down, two to go. I officially made it to the eight month mark yesterday! So what's been going on with me and the babe?

Since my last post regarding the progress of the pregnancy, I have grown to gargantuan proportions. I kid you not. I've started referring to myself as the "weeble with the backside lopped off." I'm relatively flat in the back and all sorts of three-dimensional curves up front. I guess you could say I also look kind of like a well-decorated gingerbread man. Weeble or gingerbread man, either way, I'm large and in charge. As I have been growing rapidly, driving the car has slowly started becoming more and more uncomfoftable, and I am beginning to fear that I only have a couple more weeks where I will actually be able to drive somewhat comfortably. That could be bad news for my other half. Bad, bad news.

I've been going to the doctor every two weeks for the past month and will continue on that schedule for the duration of my pregnancy, unless it gets upped to once a week as the big day looms ever closer. The past few appointments have remained on the up and up, which has been good for my peace of mind. The baby is growing normally, her heart rate is strong, she's still moving around like the athlete I know she will probably end up being (Do I see us running races together in the future??? Perhaps, perhaps.), she is still facing in the downward position so I'm still hopeful I won't have to have a c-section, my weight gain is on par, and my blood pressure still remains very low.

Around week 30, I started getting the NOTSO comfortable Braxton Hocks contractions. Practice for the future, I know, I know. And while they are manageable, I have to say they are undesirable. Dizzy spells, which my OB said was likely due to low-blood sugar and is now being combatted with more proteins in my diet, and a re-emergence of some morning sickness has also been prevalent in my life since my last preggers post.

I crave pancakes, eggs benedict, and apples non-stop. At least with those cravings, I'm covering almost all the major food groups. I haven't had really intense cravings like the aforementioned ones throughout my pregnancy. Sure, I had my days where all I wanted was Mexican food, or maybe a bag of Lay's original potato chips, but nothing like my intense desire for the pancakes, eggs. and apples. To start with, I've probably eaten somewhere between 20-30 pounds of apples in the past month. and then there's my whole thing with the breakfast food. I'm insatiable. Poor John. We've gone out to eat more than usual the past two weeks largely due to my lack of energy to do the grocery shopping (which is usually my favorite household duty), and I've dragged him to the IHOP, Cracker Barrel, Eat 'n' Park, and Yours Truly - all in the name of pancakes and eggs benedict. And then yesterday, J was off work (vacation for the next week!!!) so we were finally going to the grocery store together and of course I requested we go have lunch at the Waffle House for their delicious awfulwaffles. I kind of feel bad for the guy. Too many pancakes!!!

I'm still doing the supernesting routine, although my speed and vigor which I had previously has decreased since I tire much more easily now. The baby's furniture is all put together and situated in her room, and I finally found the perfect curtains for the baby's room - white shabby chic ones that complement the room's color and style quite nicely. There are still a bunch of things we need to purchase, prepare for, and get done, but I'm going to hold off until after the mysterious, surprising baby shower my little sister is throwing me in January. I wasn't planning on having a shower nor did I expect any of my sisters to throw me one, but she's insisting - and I have to say, it makes me feel loved and less like the family's misfit toy. And that, my friends, is a whole different story for another day.

Almost Thirty-One Years Old

My birthday is on Sunday. I will be the big 3-1. Blame it on the joys of Pregnant Brain, holiday shopping that still needs to get finished, or just plain baby excitement coupled with anxiety, but I keep forgetting that the old birthday is coming up...now in just 3 days...or 4 depending on how you look at it. I've been reminded by several people over the past few days, so I guess it's on my brain.

I don't think John and I are doing anything special to celebrate because he is going to West Virginia to help his mom with a sale we had committed to helping her with a couple months back. I initially planned to go on this trip, but with how wacky my hormones have been and my propensity to be overly sensitive over the past few (several?) weeks, we think it's probably not in my (and our) best interest for me to go. So I'm thinking I'll take the weekend to finish my holiday shopping, maybe pick up some more things for the baby and her room, finish Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and sleep late since my body has been requiring more and more of the Zzzs.

As for a little celebration, I'll probably get myself a piece of cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory, too. I've had an insane craving/obsession for Key Lime Pie lately, and since it is very difficult to find up here in these parts, the Key Lime cheesecake will probably have to suffice unless I bone up and decide to make myself a pie. Which isn't totally out of the question.

And while I am on the subject of food, I found these sweet little Jessie Steele aprons this week. I think I might have to splurge and get myself the Blue Polka Floral and/or the Brown with Pink Polka Dots apron - seeing as how I manage to get my clothes dirty almost every time I cook or bake something. I've never had an apron before, but since I've been in nesting overdrive, I am starting to see the importance of having a good apron in order to cover up and protect my clothes. I swear I've cooked and baked more over the past month and half than I have over the past year. Now THAT'S insane.

Books Read - November 2008

Holly Chamberlin, Babyland
Alicia Erian, Towelhead
Katie Estill, Dahlia's Gone
Thomas Harris, Hannibal Rising
Chuck Klosterman, Downtown Owl
Cormac McCarthy, The Road
Joe McGinniss, Jr., The Delivery Man
Jennifer McMahon, Island of Lost Girls
Stephenie Meyer, Twilight
Francine Prose, Goldengrove
Scott Smith, The Ruins
Stephen J. Spignesi, The Lost Work of Stephen King: A Guide to Unpublished Manuscripts, Story Fragments, Alternative Versions and Oddities

The Family Wagon

Say hello to our new car. The official first family car. John purchased the 2009 Jetta TDI Sport Wagon last week. Let me be the first to say, it is about time. His raise, which was technically effective as of this past July, was for a new, fully functional car; and since J had been driving my old college Crapalier after selling his Jeep, a second new car has been a long-time coming. After much research, J opted for the VW, and I am happy he finally made a decision and purchase. I haven't driven it yet, but I'm hoping to do so while he's away in Argentina in a couple weeks. I have much to say about this unexpected trip and some obstacles we've had to face over the past couple weeks, but with my anxiety in overdrive, it's too upsetting and fresh for me to blog about at this time. Sooo, best to keep my mouth clamped shut on the topic for now. And now I'm trying to focus on something positive, like the new car. I think it's a good car for a couple with a new babe on the way.

*Edit***721PM* I just found out that J does not have to go to Argentina now, so that alleviates much of the anxiety overdrive. Hooray for prayer and the power of positive thinking!

Dummies

Two nights ago I dreamed I fell from the sky. Crashing down, knocking the breathwindlife out of me.

Last night I dreamed there were shooting stars falling from my bedroom ceiling.

And over the past week during my waking life, a Charlie McCarthy doll keeps popping up in my peripheral vision. A mocking smile plastered to his face. A few times a day. He's not really there. I haven't seen this doll since I was a child.

I don't know what, if anything, this all means.

But I do know these dummy visions need to go.

Twilight

I picked up the first Twilight book last weekend. J had to work at the colo down in Pittsburgh, so I knew I was going to be sitting on my butt during those hours, and since I have come to realize that when J says something will take a couple hours it really means several hours, I desperately needed something to occupy my time other than my favorite crosswords and anagrams game on my trusty DS. Hence the purchase. I've been wanting to know what all the hype's about, so why not buy the book on the cheap at the Bal-Mart while we were picking up routers and other mysterious computer hardware?

So I started reading Twilight at the colo, couldn't get into it, quit trying to force it and let the book sit until this week. I'm about 200 pages into it, and to be honest, I'm not really sure how I feel about it. It's not root canal horrible and it's not ohmygoodness I need to read this in one sitting wonderful either. As a fan of YA fiction, I'm just not sure where I stand with Twilight.

I'll finish it whether or not it is as nearly kickarse as everyone seems to think, and I'll probably read at least one more book in the series to see if there is an ongoing theme of "take it or leave it," but as of right now the book hasn't sucked me in in much the same way as say the His Dark Materials Trilogy, Harry Potter, or even, oh yes, I'm going there - the horribly awful, can't help yourself from finishing once you started reading Gossip Girl books.

26.5 Weeks

Ohhh baby. You tire me out.

Who knew that I would be so exhausted at this point in my pregnancy? My nutritional intake during the pregnancy has been above average simply because it has to be, but growing Little Miss Flash is possibly one of the most tiring things I've ever done in my life. Even more tiring than running a marathon or playing in a bout where I was skating 75% of the time. I've heard that many women get oodles of energy during their second and third trimesters. Apparently the energy surge is not for me. And I know I am in for even more tiring days and nights once the babe gets here...why couldn't I luck out with the mystery energy surge?

I had another doctor's appointment and the dreaded glucola diabetes testing last Wednesday. During the doctor's appointment, all signs pointed to the positive, as seems to be the ongoing case. The Flash's heart rate is smack dab in the middle of the healthy range, my blood pressure is low, and my weight gain is normal. Once again the baby just had to prove her movement faculties to her eager audience, and it took a little bit of time to get the heart rate, but as I said before, it was good. The Flash is positioned normally, and from what my doctor told me, I should be able to deliver through my hooha versus c-section. (Yes, I know you all wanted to know that. ;)) And it turns out I don't have the beetis, so I don't need to worry about any complications that could have arisen from that, which is a relief.

Over the past month or so, the baby's movements have increased. My stomach visibly moves now and it's as though I have a vibrating belly for several hours a day. Interestingly, the Flash can sense when you are touching her through my abdomen and once she does, she ceases movement in an area and will either move on to somewhere else or stay put until you remove your hand. She also seems to increase her movements when I am listening to Debussy and Mozart, so I've added those artists to my baby music loop. We still don't have a name solidified yet, so the baby is still referred to as The Flash or The baby. I do have a full name I am quite fond of, but J isn't its number one fan. I might have him convinced soon enough, I don't know though. What I do know is that no one in my family ever told me it would be this difficult to make a joint decision on baby names. Or maybe none of my sisters ever tried to make it a joint decision...harumph.

J and I made it to Morgantown and Pittsburgh last weekend. We had a good visit with his mom, then turned northward and ended up purchasing a good amount of the baby and office furniture, as well as some kitchen and living essentials. And this past weekend, J finished the finished area in the basement and the final coat of paint in the baby's room, so I'm finally starting to feel more like we are actually moving forward with the house changes versus the stagnation I was sensing before. We still have a ton of things to do, but getting the initial legwork out of the way makes everything else seem just a little bit more manageable.

But then on the flipside of the manageability, I feel completely and utterly overwhelmed with everything I still need to do. And with the holidays coming, my anxiety is increasing tenfold. I went and started registering for baby stuff on Sunday, and I literally wanted to run out of the store screaming after about an hour and a half. Prior to registering I thought J and I had a good leg up on our purchases of the things we will need, but while going through the store with my scanner gun, I had a rude awakening - we are so not as prepared as I thought we were. I have three months to get it together, and since Sunday, I've been trying to use my wisemind and breathe and take things one step at a time, but it is certainly a challenge. I know we will manage and get through this last trimester successfully, it just seems I haven't been able to get a handle on my anxiety the past few days. Hopefully the anxiety will dissipate.

Sensitivo

I think my emotional hormones have finally kicked in to some serious wackedness. I've been overly sensitive the past couple weeks...and that's putting it lightly. And the real kicker of it all is that I recognize when I'm being completely wacked, but just can't seem to help myself from proceeding down that trail.

Books Read - October 2008

Guess what? I read ZERO books during the month of September. ZERO. I read bits and pieces of What to Expect When You're Expecting and the Mayo Clinic's Complete Book of Pregnancy & Baby's First Year, but that's to be expected. For some reason, I did not do any reading for pleasure. Hmm.

I did pick up my snail pace a bit in October, even if most of it could be construed as "mindless but enjoyable" reading. Whatever gets you through, right?

Andre Dubus III, The Cage Keeper
Terri Gerritson, The Keepsake
Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner, Freakonomics
Lowis Lowry, The Giver
James Patterson, 3rd Degree
James Patterson, 4th of July
James Patterson, The 5th Horseman

The winner of the month was Freakonomics. It took me about 75 pages to really get into it, but once I did get into it, I plowed through it. The book's pace was quick, the writing was smart, and the insights were ones I never really considered/correlated before, so it kept my interest. Freakonomics is definitely worth a read.

Runner-up of the month was The Keepsake. My awesome mom got me this book for some reason and I enjoyed it more than I thought I would - especially because I think it's a book that is/was part of an ongoing series I of which I am not familiar. It was the first book I read this month and it got me motivated to start reading for pleasure again. Thanks mom!