so much in the silence

I'm apparently going through a quiet phase. This has been going on for an undisclosed amount of time. As you can tell, it's been a fairly long phase, and I'm not sure how much longer it will go on.

I will say that it has been a difficult year in many aspects of my life. As time moves forward, I find I am gaining physical, mental, and emotional strength paired with a positive momentum, not to mention insight, education, creativity, understanding, compassion, and wisdom; Although I am not moving forward as quickly as time seems to be.

Maggie is amazing. I honestly don't know where I would be today, if not for my beautiful child. She is my heart. And for as long as I am around, I will strive to give her the best life possible within mine and what I consider to be my Greater Power.

I hope to begin posting more often on here. While facebook has its merits, it's not the same as my trusty blog.

The Book of Face

I almost signed up for Facebook today. I have been resistant to do so for the past year or two, but now with various friends repeatedly asking me to succumb to the trend, I am/was tempted. I just don't know if I can do it, though. After opening an account on myspace four years ago, proceeding to get somewhat addicted to it, gaining a few stalkers (no thanks to my derby days), then deleting that account only to open a new one later and having to rebuild only makes me that much more hesitant.

Now with my new(er) myspace, I have a more manageable grouping of friends and contacts, and I am hesitant to open a facebook account because of the time I know I will end up spending and wanting to spend on it reconnecting with people, nosing around, building up my network, and possibly feeding my dormant addiction to time sucking vortices. But since a few of my best people have completely abandoned myspace, and even though there is email and this here blog, I feel a little sad not having them there on my friendlies and also not having the ability to hop onto their pages and see what's the haps in their worlds somewhat instantaneously.

So I almost signed up today. But I didn't. Still.

To facebook or not to facebook? Should I do it? Should I not do it?

Okay, Okay

Dear Blog,

I have not forgotten about you. And no, I do not want to write you a Dear John letter either. Just things have been kind of OOC since coming back from Argentina. Yes, I realize I have not even updated my book list for May yet, but please rest assured because I will be posting my book list from May AND June together in a couple weeks. So shake out those ants in your pants. Please and thank you.

So much has been going on with work and my personal life, but I am still here, trucking through each day, refining the art of deep breathing and trying to take life one day at a time. There have been some recent ups and downs, and I may have some pretty big news to post here soon, so hold still and get prepared. I have a feeling I am going to be in for the roller coaster ride of a lifetime.

Sincerely,
Karoline

Note to Emotion-Mind:

Be mindful of what you say. Lately you speak and verbalize more than you are used to doing and it is starting to making you feel stupid and idiotic. As your Rational-Mind, it is my duty to remind you that the emotionlotion you often experience is not often to the same extent as that of others. You proceed full throttle in everything you do, and that can be challenging for others to understand.

So maybe you should shut your mouth.

And not that speaking is a negative thing, but sometimes your feelings aren't what matter and people often don't really care. And it is unwise to fool yourself or try to convince yourself otherwise. And while sharing is enlightening to you (and possibly others), bear in mind that when speaking about your feelings, it opens you up to a whole new world where you may not feel comfortably contained. And while I know you crave new experiences and changes and loves and losses, and you are comfortable with the aforementioned and more, you are not the most comfortable with speaking.

So again, maybe you should shut your mouth.

As your logical side, I am stepping in to forewarn you. You have made some huge strides forward and positive life changes over the past several months, and I don't want to see you fall on your ass and break it beyond repair.

With Your Best Interests in Mind,
Rational-Mind

Shhh...

This is interesting:
shut up, just shut up, shut up.