beaster time, beaster time.
there are days i think my life is nothing but beaster time.
been spread so thin lately, i'm having trouble maintaining.
years ago there was an everclear song about being everything to everyone.
while i've never thought myself a pleaser, i'm discovering the whole life upheaval shit uncloseted it...the dreaded pleasing tendency.
my inclination to please was probably always there, i was just unaware.
now i am.
it disgusts me.
i hope i can change it instead of continuing to engage in it.
i'm having a hard time standing up for myself when all i see is swampland in myself.
i don't want my daughter to bear witness to my unraveling, sinking, whatever you call it.
i will power through it.
i always do.