Sunday, January 21, 2007


evidently, my brain is a wasteland:

--this morning i learned that even if you are wearing pants, you can somehow get a gaping gash on your upper left thigh from unexpectedly doing a baseball slide while pseudo-bouting. stranger yet, my pants aren't even cut or sliced open, so how did this happen? oh how i do not love you, disgusting gaping gash wound. i can feel my heart beat in my leg now. it is so gross.

--"he builds in windows, he's off the wall, he builds 'em big, he builds 'em small. in legoland he'll rock and roll, he's lego wild, out of control! it's zach, zach, he's a lego maniac!" WHY IS THIS STUCK IN MY HEAD? WHY DO I KNOW ALL THE WORDS?

--the phone drama seems unending. last month it was the too high bills – which i called, complained, and inquired to a nice man at verizon, thus resulting in a $307 credit to my account. but last week, i completely totaled my phone. it's totally totaled. TOTALLY. the phone is now always "searching for service" and i can't call anyone or even access my calendar on it. blargh. so you guessed it, i need a new one. too bad the ball is in my court now and frankly, i've enjoyed being phoneless for a couple weeks. seriously.

--yesterday i watched a movie called, "may." the main character, may, was like buffalo bill from "silence of the lambs," but she was way more attractive than buffalo bill. and she had a creepy doll versus an annoying dog named precious.

-- there's this lady who walks up and down the street for hours at a time. she wears turquoise sweatpants and has this really outrageous red hair. i estimate her age to be around 72 years old. she's quite cartoonish. and fascinating.

--no matter what color shirt i wear, it seems i always spill on myself. i feel like such a slob and disgust myself when i do spill on the continental shelf of my chest.

--how is it legal to sell a vintage tee shirt for $58.00? for a new kids on the block tee-shirt, no less. i was going to get one for a rather unsuspecting person in my life, but i don't think i want to spend damn near sixty dollars on a crappy nkotb shirt. especially because i never did like them (but my friend did, hence why i was going to buy a shirt); however, when i was young i thought the guy who looked like frankenstein was kind of cute in a monstrous way. i might as well go out and buy some puffy paint and totally glam up a shirt like we did in the 4th grade. hahaha. NO.

--i still can't find my black skull cap. i want to know where the hell it went. i had to wear my brown one today. it didn't feel quite right on my head with me wearing all black. what bothers me more is that i know i wouldn't feel this way if i had my really ugly green cap on, but i didn't, and now i am once again perplexed about where the hell i put my black cap. gosh darnit.

--why do some people's faces appear to be plastic? like every facet is too shiny and taut and sans imperfections. i call people like this plasticene wonders. plasticlike faces bother me more than they should.

--that band royksopp makes me want to go into a room with control panels and supercomputers from the 1960s and start randomly pushing buttons to see what chaos might ensue. listen to some royksopp and tell me that their music doesn't make you want to push buttons on control panels. you won't be able to because the music is perfect for just that purpose.

--i kind of have a taste for awful waffles at the waffle house. unfortunately, that requires a drive out to cha-hardon to get them. it seems a bit far for me right now. but denny's won't do. and i don't feel like cooking. hopefully this craving will pass.

--the word, "blossomed," makes me laugh. it's right up there with "legs." my, how your legs have blossomed. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.