MISSING

My oldest nephew's long-term partner and mother (I'll refer to her as H) to their 2 year-old baby boy was officially declared as missing this past week. She abandoned/deserted my nephew and their son shortly before Easter without saying why she was leaving or where she was going. She. Just. Left. No explanation. No nothing. No one seemed to take it seriously other than a handful of people including myself, and my nephew. Then a few weeks ago, H (or someone else acting as her) filed for joint custody of their child. She didn't show up to court. One of H's relatives heard from her on May 5, and H was in Baltimore, MD...that's pretty far away from northwestern, PA. No one has heard anything from her since then. And she certainly didn't show up to the courthouse last week for the custody hearing. Nothing.

There is a rumor circulating around, saying that H joined a fanatical cult - I am not going to name rumored cult. If she did join this cult, I wonder if she left on her own volition with all her faculties of mind and body, or was she heavily influenced/suggested to leave by one or some members, or was she taken by force. I don't know. I don't know if said rumor is true, nor do I know if it is untrue. Whichever way I look at it - independent desertion, kidnapping, cult, etc. - it's all horrible and wrong. I've been worried about H for several weeks now. I've also been worried about my nephew and their son. I've been trying to help my nephew by being available to him as well as helping with research on legal assistance, aid, and Pennsylvania's laws. I've offered to have him and his son to come stay with me here in Cleveland for awhile and have also offered to go to Penn to help them out. My nephew has declined this last offer of mine - at least so far. I hope he takes me up on helping him out some more, though. I can't even imagine what he's going through right now. What their son is going through.

And now H is officially declared as missing. It's about time.

This is some scary sh**. I'll keep on praying and meditating for my nephew, his son, and H. I hope she's okay. We are all worried and wish for her safe return. If you are of the praying and/or meditating sort, please add them to your thoughts and/or lists. We need all the help we can get.

Miscellany

For those people who want to know what has and hasn't actually been going on in my life recently, here's an update on life buildup:

-- Last Monday (Happy Friggin' St. Patrick's Day!) I had my second oral surgery and root canal of the year. Completed after yet another jaw infection and abscessed tooth. Bone loss included. We are hopeful this one will take and a new porcelain crown will join the dregs of my slowly recovering eating disordered mouth in the next couple weeks. My mouth is a moneypit.

-- Travel to Argentina is scheduled for April 14. This is a 4-5 week trip. I'm hoping for five.

-- Since the travel to Argentina is occurring much later than anticipated, the Cleveland Half-Marathon is going to be a no-go this year. I will achieve my goal of running a half this year, just not in Cleveland. Right now we are looking to travel somewhere to run in July or August. My vote is for the Rock and Roll Marathon and Half in Virginia Beach over Labor Day weekend, but we shall see. But there is also the Roadrunner and USAF right here in Ohio, so who knows?

-- Also along the lines of switching up my 2008 goals, I think I am going to join CrossFit instead of starting a beginner Pilates class...at least for now. Since moving back up here, I've been itching to get myself into a hardcore fitness program to burnBURNburn as well as to meet likeminded people, but have been lacking in the "go get'em" attitude to do so. I'm tired of not getting the desired results from the solo workouts I do and after much research, I've officially decided CrossFit is the type of thing I'm looking for in regards to exercise regimens and muscle building. Check it: Cleveland CrossFit Now the question is, "Do I start ASAP or after I get back from Argentina?" Not sure yet.

-- I'm still seriously contemplating hair extensions.

-- I am scheduled to get more work done on my left forearm next Wednesday, April 2. I will be driving down to Pittsburgh to have Joe Bruce ink me up at Stay Gold Tattoo. He's awesome. A fantastic artist. I will post pictures after the session.

-- I've recently been in contact with one of my really great friends from my undergrad days at the U of A. He found me on LinkedIn and is actually featured in my x365 posts which have stalled yet again; But will have back up and running as soon as things settle down in my life. I should call it my x365 in x730 days. I think it is going to take that long for me to get it done. But you know what? Slow and steady wins the mystery race, right? Ha! Anyways, my buddy is a fellow writer and the correspondence has been nothing short of great. I'm stoked that he found me and that I can once again call him my friend.

-- I've been diligent in my learning the ins and outs of CSS for my personal website which will be: The Stubborn Swede, but I'm almost tempted to just plug my blogger into the site versus actuallly building. Temptation is hard to resist. For now, I am resisting. Largely because me having knowledge equals power over what I am doing in regards to current career change. But that's the future domain. FYIJSYK.

-- Speaking of tecchie things, I need to relearn PhotoShop. Last time I used it was like seven years ago maybe? Six? A long time ago. I also need to find the Sony DSC-H2 as it is boxed up from my last move. I would also like to learn the Nikon D80 that has been gathering dust in the hall closet...maybe I'll get a chance down in Bargentina. And spring is coming which means I can use the awesome list of places in ClevelandOH to go shoot photos Kill Basa sent me a few months ago. I'm looking forward to that.

-- Going on a ghosthunt to the West Virginia State Penitentiary with a paranormal group during July. Confirmation came via email yesterday, so it's a go. Supercool, eh? Moundsville is spoooooky.

Overall, life for me has been a series of far ups and far downs since coming back north. What I can say is that I am sticking to my plans and am asking for help when I need it. I have a wonderful support system and I am truly blessed to be able to lean on those people in my life.

Recovery is difficult. But worth it.

I need to do my posts for numbers twenty-five and twenty-six. Hopefully I will get to it tonight...

Sadly, it hasn't been paramount to me as I have just discovered the joys of television show watching online (not youtubing) and have been kept up late at night this week catching up on House and Criminal Minds. I am a slacker. Yes.

Also, I am stressed beyond belief of not having a full-time job. I do think I secured some consult/freelance business today, so maybe I'll have December's rent paid.

I really don't want to be forced to move back north. I am not ready to face that. I do not know if I will ever be ready to face that in the next year. Hell, I've already planned on Thanksgiving time down here or in Kentucky caving by myself.

Which leads me to wonder what is wrong with me. Why do I not so much want to see my family or few friends I have up north? Why do I not plan on spending holidays down here with the few friends I have made here instead? Why am I compelled to go and do some solitary activity/adventure?

Probably because I know it will balance me. Balance me in ways that I need, otherwise I am not whole. Not me.

Many people don't understand this component of my personality. Sometimes I don't even understand it, but I know it works. Most of the time. Sometimes I do want companionship and all that jazz, but all relationships, be it platonic or romantic or both, are two way streets and I often find that many people don't understand that.

I know when I lack. I know when you lack.

...ENTER TANGENTIAL RANT...
I also know when you lie to me and tell me you are my friend, when in reality, you are not. If people are really your friends, they do put forth the energy and efforts and don't throw hissy fits when things don't go their way or the way that they projected them to go and then cut you out of their lives when things don't go as planned. So to me, just because I might be off the radar for a few days, does not mean that I am not your friend or that something is up or whatever it is people think.

If you are my real friend, you understand and respect my need to get away and I will speak with you about my experience(s) when I am back inasmuch as I would you; But if you REALLY need me, I will emerge from my solitude time to help you. If you actually need me and aren't just being unsure of your placement in the friendship which goes both ways, you know? And just because I might go off the radar, is that real justification for deciding to stop being my friend? I don't think so.

I know I don't do that to people I actually care about, and you see, that has happened to me recently down here in Knoxville. Been on the receiving end of passive-aggressive, overly needy friendships where people freak out if you aren't as available to them as they think you should be. Stress on the "think you should be."

It never ceases to amaze me how utterly juvenile grown adults can be.

On the other hand, I am glad to have learned things like this in a shorter timeframe than I have in the past. This is good. From pain, I grow. From pain, I grew.

--

And here I thought I had no time to write...

What are you up to this weekend?

This weekend I will be participating in a sweat. I've been anticipating this for awhile.

I know I am ready for this in the spiritual-sense, but the physical sense, we shall see...curious to see how this goes.

For your reading pleasure:
gonna make you sweat.