Sunday, September 5, 2010

i'm drifting farther away and reaching further inwards.

there is an end or at least a solution which is and has started going into effect.

i just don't know how many more minutes of hours of days of weeks i can handle all of it.

it doesn't help when i am aware of the fact that i am consistently belittled in a passively manipulative way by someone with whom i care. it also doesn't help on the days when i am flat out ignored, steamrolled, bulldozed.

i'm struggling. it hurts.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Strong people attact strong people, and are attracted to strong people. Faceplanting and headbutting and hardship must be expected, regardless of the bond... The alternative is to spend your time with someone who knows that you are stronger than them...and you both assume your "roles"...ideally, you pair your strengths with their weaknesses, and vice-versa. The problem with headstrong people is understanding that their weaknesses can be complimented, and that their weaknesses are "okay" if someone can cover them in a complimentary manner... ...none of this helps you...maybe this does: that sucks, and I hope you find the peace you need.
Focus on the little one. At this point, if you do nothing but prepare her for the life you wish you had, with the opportunities you wish you had, with the love and trust and security you wish you will have succeeded. You don't need to make a million dollars; you don't need to win the Pulitzer Prize or the Nobel Prize; you need to construct a life, and every glance, every shoosh, and every touch *means something*. You are now a goddess.

"Mother is the word for God on the hearts and lips of all little children" -William Makepeace Thackeray