Can I get a side of Billy Ray Cyrus with that?

J: Wow. Your hair is at the bottom of your neck.
Me: Way to rub in the fact that I'm slowly sprouting the sweetest mullet this side of the Mississipp.
J: I didn't mean it that way, but now that you mention it...
Me: Shaddup. I've heard enough out of you.

"Under my umbrella..."

Damn you Rihanna. Damn you and that damned Umbrella song of yours. Damn this earworm in my head. Damn it if I not-so-secretly secretly like it.

Anti

I am anti-Facebook. Don't ask me why. I certainly couldn't give you a concrete answer. I've been contemplating my aversion to this particular social networking site to no avail. Is it because I am too lazy to set up an account? No. Is it because I don't want people to find me? No. If that were the case, I wouldn't blog under my real name. Is it because of the very few horror stories I've heard and read about regarding the site? Possibly. I'm thinking it is more along the lines of me fearing that if I do sign up, I will succumb to yet another time sucking vortex. These time sucking vortices are what I am trying to minimize in my life. So maybe I am subconsciously telling myself that I cannot sign up because the addictive aspect of Facebook would be far too great for me to "just say no" to in the reality of my life. And that would be bad.

I am sure there are more thoughts to come regarding this avoidant behavior I have regarding this site. You know, after I mull it over all ciderlike in my head. Thend.

Miscellany

For those people who want to know what has and hasn't actually been going on in my life recently, here's an update on life buildup:

-- Last Monday (Happy Friggin' St. Patrick's Day!) I had my second oral surgery and root canal of the year. Completed after yet another jaw infection and abscessed tooth. Bone loss included. We are hopeful this one will take and a new porcelain crown will join the dregs of my slowly recovering eating disordered mouth in the next couple weeks. My mouth is a moneypit.

-- Travel to Argentina is scheduled for April 14. This is a 4-5 week trip. I'm hoping for five.

-- Since the travel to Argentina is occurring much later than anticipated, the Cleveland Half-Marathon is going to be a no-go this year. I will achieve my goal of running a half this year, just not in Cleveland. Right now we are looking to travel somewhere to run in July or August. My vote is for the Rock and Roll Marathon and Half in Virginia Beach over Labor Day weekend, but we shall see. But there is also the Roadrunner and USAF right here in Ohio, so who knows?

-- Also along the lines of switching up my 2008 goals, I think I am going to join CrossFit instead of starting a beginner Pilates class...at least for now. Since moving back up here, I've been itching to get myself into a hardcore fitness program to burnBURNburn as well as to meet likeminded people, but have been lacking in the "go get'em" attitude to do so. I'm tired of not getting the desired results from the solo workouts I do and after much research, I've officially decided CrossFit is the type of thing I'm looking for in regards to exercise regimens and muscle building. Check it: Cleveland CrossFit Now the question is, "Do I start ASAP or after I get back from Argentina?" Not sure yet.

-- I'm still seriously contemplating hair extensions.

-- I am scheduled to get more work done on my left forearm next Wednesday, April 2. I will be driving down to Pittsburgh to have Joe Bruce ink me up at Stay Gold Tattoo. He's awesome. A fantastic artist. I will post pictures after the session.

-- I've recently been in contact with one of my really great friends from my undergrad days at the U of A. He found me on LinkedIn and is actually featured in my x365 posts which have stalled yet again; But will have back up and running as soon as things settle down in my life. I should call it my x365 in x730 days. I think it is going to take that long for me to get it done. But you know what? Slow and steady wins the mystery race, right? Ha! Anyways, my buddy is a fellow writer and the correspondence has been nothing short of great. I'm stoked that he found me and that I can once again call him my friend.

-- I've been diligent in my learning the ins and outs of CSS for my personal website which will be: The Stubborn Swede, but I'm almost tempted to just plug my blogger into the site versus actuallly building. Temptation is hard to resist. For now, I am resisting. Largely because me having knowledge equals power over what I am doing in regards to current career change. But that's the future domain. FYIJSYK.

-- Speaking of tecchie things, I need to relearn PhotoShop. Last time I used it was like seven years ago maybe? Six? A long time ago. I also need to find the Sony DSC-H2 as it is boxed up from my last move. I would also like to learn the Nikon D80 that has been gathering dust in the hall closet...maybe I'll get a chance down in Bargentina. And spring is coming which means I can use the awesome list of places in ClevelandOH to go shoot photos Kill Basa sent me a few months ago. I'm looking forward to that.

-- Going on a ghosthunt to the West Virginia State Penitentiary with a paranormal group during July. Confirmation came via email yesterday, so it's a go. Supercool, eh? Moundsville is spoooooky.

Overall, life for me has been a series of far ups and far downs since coming back north. What I can say is that I am sticking to my plans and am asking for help when I need it. I have a wonderful support system and I am truly blessed to be able to lean on those people in my life.

Recovery is difficult. But worth it.

Zapped

I am not sure what's worse: Having things to actually write about but no inspiration to compose, or, Having nothing to write about with oodles of inspiration. After writing it out, I think the worse of the two would be the former. Yes. The former. Yes. I am still going through my malaise. I blame it on the weather.

And while I hate placing blame on something as banal as the weather, I have to say that Mother Nature has certainly played a fair role in my mindset. I mean, it obviously hasn't been enough for her to dump multiple feet of snow, ice, sleet, and the goshdarned wintry mix down for months now, then decide to warm-up to say FIFTY degrees where all the snow is melting quite nicely, turning into slushy piles of Maybe Spring Really Is On Its Way. No, all this hasn't been enough because last night, you took it upon yourself to dump another four or five inches of snow on us?!?!

Talk about a kick in the nads. Mother Nature, you are STILL on notice.

-- Oh and don't let me forget to write about the Great Wal-Mart Spill of 2008 over the next few days. --

Funktronic

I am so over the weather up here. I am melting down to a funktronic state unlike any other funk-state I've experienced in the past. This is not good. This would account for my recent silence. I'll be back soon. But for now silence is okay, and I've put the weather gods on notice. ;)

Oh The Dramz

Did you hear? I'm sure you have seeing as how it's been all-over the entertainment news since this morning, but being that I haven't posted about my ultimate favorite reality show recently, I thought I would post this little tidbit.

David Hernandez, a current contestant on American Idol, was a stripper in Phoenix, AZ. He danced for three years in an all-male revue at a club with a largely gay male clientele. An all-naked, all-male revue at that. Suh-weet.

What good is another season of American Idol without a scandal?

Something I Don't Like

Waking up super-early, like so early it's still dark outside early, so I can get adequate cardio-exercise before the workday.

Twelve weeks until the Cleveland Marathon, Half-Marathon, & 10K. Me and Hal Higdon's Half-Marathon training plan are fast becoming friends.

Books Read - February 2008

February was a month of new reads, with the exception of Wasted which I have read so many times I stopped counting at a billionty times twenty. This time I managed to read it during an exceptionally awesome workout session on the bike and elliptical.

Cynthia Buchanan, Maiden
Ken Follett, The Pillars of the Earth
Marya Hornbacher, Wasted
Fred Leebron, Six Figures
Elizabeth McCracken, The Giant's House
Joyce Carol Oates, Black Water
Joyce Carol Oates, Man Crazy
Ruth Rendell, Adam and Eve and Pinch Me
Elisabeth Robinson, The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters

This Is AWESOME

Stopping Time At Grand Central Station

For the back story, go here.

I Have A Confession To Make

On Sunday night I watched the Oscars just so I could write down all the movies I missed in the theatres during 2007 and still want to see; Because I could then add them to my Netflix queue.

The Millness

It looks as though I am recovering, albeit sloooowly recovering from the millness. Millness = mystery + illness for any uninformed readers. This word is yet another word made up by yours truly. One of my karolineisms. Use it, enjoy it.

I'll be back to regular postings next week.

You TOTALLY Want To Know

Since the post about my detox of sorts, I know you have been plagued with thoughts regarding what exactly is in the Green Lemonade concoction. Well, I'll tell you.

Ingredients are as follows: Kale, Celery, Apples, Lemons, Ginger Root (optional). It's even more delicious than it sounds. The way to my heart is through this delicious libation. No, not really, but I figure if I keep telling myself this, then maybe, just maybe, I'll convince myself that this beverage is truly delicious.

I'm drinking it out of a wine glass because it makes me feel regal. Just like my cat.

Green Lemonade is my Very Fancy Feast.

I am under the influence of the millness. I'll be back as soon as I am feeling better. Meh.

Detox

I'm doing a 3-5 day green lemonade and water fast beginning Tuesday. I decided to do this seeing as how my energy levels have been all over the map and I'd like to help myself get those in check before heading down to South America at mystery dates still needing to be declared.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate not knowing solid dates of impending long trips/longer-ranging plans? Well, I do. I hatehatehate it. Being stuck in a state of flux. Trying to figure out where exactly I put my favorite linen pants and sundresses that I may or may not need depending on the dates of the trip. Not being able to commit to any other plans as the waiting continues for a trip with no dates declared yet. I'm so angstified about it that my OCD picking tendencies have reared their ugly head. I've had these in check for awhile, but not so much now. Argh!

Well at least I know where my passport is.

Back to the detox. While I've been eating more normally over the past few weeks and I've been cooking versus eating out as often, I've noticed some not so wonderful physical changes to my body. Of course these changes could be imagined and purely symptomatic of my eating disorder, or they could be reality. I am not sure I want to know, but I did decide to do a modified raw fast next week. I went raw a few years ago, and while it absolutely sucked the first two days, I noticed a significant positive change in my physical health. But maybe it was too good...and raw wasn't to be a long-term diet change for me - especially with my ED history. So it was tried for awhile and then I reverted to more normalized eating. I mean, who REALLY sits down and eats 1/2 a watermelon for lunch? Really.

I am convinced it is going to help me get a lot of crap (no pun intended) out of my body and hopefully help regulate my sleeping schedule a little better. I am also hoping it will help me to slow down a little and stop the OCD behviors I am currently experiencing. I'm sure the fast will be interesting regardless.

Mantra

I will successfully grow my hair out past this helmethead 'do, I will successfully grow my hair out past this helmethead 'do, I will successfully grow my hair out past this helmethead 'do.

Shampoo.
Rinse.
Rewash.
Rinse.
Rewash.
Rinse.
Condition.
Rinse.
Repeat.

Feel The Power

Tower of Power is coming to the ClevelandOH House of Blues on April 3. I am so there. You know, if I am in the country.

If you haven't heard of this amazing funk and soul band, take an auditory and visual gander: What is Hip?

They are an unbelievable group of musicians. Seriously. Check them out if you can.

Zombie Cycle

For the past three months or so I've been having this recurring dream where zombies are traipsing through my backyard. Maybe traipse isn't the best word to describe it, but the zombies are moving in that aimless stumble that is so well depicted in Night of the Living Dead. The zombies aren't doing anything awful like trying to eat my brains or anything, they're just stumbling around walking into trees and just more or less looking like stupefied idiots.

In every dream, I see them while I am looking out the window in my bathroom. And I just stare. I don't move, I don't scream, just stare. I inflict the Gaze on these zombies and nothing else. So after having yet another dream of the zombies last night, I am really beginning to wonder why I keep dreaming of them. Seriously, I wish they would just go away.

First Encounter

My friend Adam recently sent me this: half fart and half yellow horse piss

Prior to this I had not encountered the poetics of Al Purdy, which is kind of interesting and humorous to me seeing as how I've had that multi-year-not-so-secret-secret-love affair with the works of Charles Bukowski. Interesting, indeed.

On another note, Adam also sent me this:

Sagittarius: Have you been thinging about making a change in your life? Well stop thinking and start doing! Regardless of whether it's a major or a minor change you have in mind, make it fast! Gradual transitions are not going to cut it now, because they give you way too much time to change your mind. Use your energy to its maximum effect and get things going in the right direction as quickly as you can. That way you will start to see the rewards of these changes faster, too.

I don't usually put much stock in the astrological aspects of life, but this one particularly rang true to some things I am going through right now. Astrology is all about the interpretation, so I guess I decided to correlate it closely to my life today. Thend.

Similarities: Race & Derby Training

As I am still doing my best to stick to my goals and properly train (versus overtraining...which is my typical modus operandi...) for the half-marathon in May, and while I am cursing the powers that be for the lame-o aches and pains I am currently experiencing, I decided I would put together a short list of the similarities twixt race and derby training. I'm sure I forgot some, so if you have suggestions, let me know! Read on!

Some Similarities I Have Drawn Between Race Training And Roller Derby Training:

1. Muscles you never knew you had before suddenly (or slowly, over time) start to hurt.

2. An eight minute mile is simply not good enough. A nine minute mile will never be good enough. At least not in your head.

3. You are definitely still one sweaty beast.

4. Tights, knee socks, and short shorts ALWAYS make for warmer legs.

5. One can never have enough muscle rub. Rub those shin splints out of your head. Ben-Gay might be smelly, but it feels sooo good.

6. Proper stance equates to more efficient and effective use of your body to achieve its ultimate goal.

7. It is unwise to keep makeup on while working out. It stings when it runs into your eyes. After all, you are still one sweaty beast.

8. While training with others, you are still expected to be training on your own.

9. Having the right footwear almost guarantees less injuries.

10. PowerGels are important to access stores of energy you didn't know you had. Simple sugars work wonders.

11. Proper use of an Ace bandage might mean the difference between saving or losing that one jelly ankle you have…you know the one I'm talking about. Yeah, that one.

12. You thought you had knee problems before training, ha! Just look at you now.

13. A banana and a cup of oatmeal are the BEST pre-long-training-session foods.

14. Excellent tuneage still makes you push yourself harder.

15. Never underestimate the power of the bandana.

16. The fans and supporters are still OOC on game/race day.

17. Oh sure, that ciggie tastes and feels awesomely delicious right now, but you will undoubtedly regret it within the first ten minutes of your workout.

18. Sidewalks are dangerous at night.