Say hello to our new car. The official first family car. John purchased the 2009 Jetta TDI Sport Wagon last week. Let me be the first to say, it is about time. His raise, which was technically effective as of this past July, was for a new, fully functional car; and since J had been driving my old college Crapalier after selling his Jeep, a second new car has been a long-time coming. After much research, J opted for the VW, and I am happy he finally made a decision and purchase. I haven't driven it yet, but I'm hoping to do so while he's away in Argentina in a couple weeks. I have much to say about this unexpected trip and some obstacles we've had to face over the past couple weeks, but with my anxiety in overdrive, it's too upsetting and fresh for me to blog about at this time. Sooo, best to keep my mouth clamped shut on the topic for now. And now I'm trying to focus on something positive, like the new car. I think it's a good car for a couple with a new babe on the way.
Two nights ago I dreamed I fell from the sky. Crashing down, knocking the breathwindlife out of me.Last night I dreamed there were shooting stars falling from my bedroom ceiling. And over the past week during my waking life, a Charlie McCarthy doll keeps popping up in my peripheral vision. A mocking smile plastered to his face. A few times a day. He's not really there. I haven't seen this doll since I was a child.I don't know what, if anything, this all means.But I do know these dummy visions need to go.
I picked up the first Twilight book last weekend. J had to work at the colo down in Pittsburgh, so I knew I was going to be sitting on my butt during those hours, and since I have come to realize that when J says something will take a couple hours it really means several hours, I desperately needed something to occupy my time other than my favorite crosswords and anagrams game on my trusty DS. Hence the purchase. I've been wanting to know what all the hype's about, so why not buy the book on the cheap at the Bal-Mart while we were picking up routers and other mysterious computer hardware? So I started reading Twilight at the colo, couldn't get into it, quit trying to force it and let the book sit until this week. I'm about 200 pages into it, and to be honest, I'm not really sure how I feel about it. It's not root canal horrible and it's not ohmygoodness I need to read this in one sitting wonderful either. As a fan of YA fiction, I'm just not sure where I stand with Twilight. I'll finish it whether or not it is as nearly kickarse as everyone seems to think, and I'll probably read at least one more book in the series to see if there is an ongoing theme of "take it or leave it," but as of right now the book hasn't sucked me in in much the same way as say the His Dark Materials Trilogy, Harry Potter, or even, oh yes, I'm going there - the horribly awful, can't help yourself from finishing once you started reading Gossip Girl books.
Ohhh baby. You tire me out. Who knew that I would be so exhausted at this point in my pregnancy? My nutritional intake during the pregnancy has been above average simply because it has to be, but growing Little Miss Flash is possibly one of the most tiring things I've ever done in my life. Even more tiring than running a marathon or playing in a bout where I was skating 75% of the time. I've heard that many women get oodles of energy during their second and third trimesters. Apparently the energy surge is not for me. And I know I am in for even more tiring days and nights once the babe gets here...why couldn't I luck out with the mystery energy surge?I had another doctor's appointment and the dreaded glucola diabetes testing last Wednesday. During the doctor's appointment, all signs pointed to the positive, as seems to be the ongoing case. The Flash's heart rate is smack dab in the middle of the healthy range, my blood pressure is low, and my weight gain is normal. Once again the baby just had to prove her movement faculties to her eager audience, and it took a little bit of time to get the heart rate, but as I said before, it was good. The Flash is positioned normally, and from what my doctor told me, I should be able to deliver through my hooha versus c-section. (Yes, I know you all wanted to know that. ;)) And it turns out I don't have the beetis, so I don't need to worry about any complications that could have arisen from that, which is a relief.Over the past month or so, the baby's movements have increased. My stomach visibly moves now and it's as though I have a vibrating belly for several hours a day. Interestingly, the Flash can sense when you are touching her through my abdomen and once she does, she ceases movement in an area and will either move on to somewhere else or stay put until you remove your hand. She also seems to increase her movements when I am listening to Debussy and Mozart, so I've added those artists to my baby music loop. We still don't have a name solidified yet, so the baby is still referred to as The Flash or The baby. I do have a full name I am quite fond of, but J isn't its number one fan. I might have him convinced soon enough, I don't know though. What I do know is that no one in my family ever told me it would be this difficult to make a joint decision on baby names. Or maybe none of my sisters ever tried to make it a joint decision...harumph.J and I made it to Morgantown and Pittsburgh last weekend. We had a good visit with his mom, then turned northward and ended up purchasing a good amount of the baby and office furniture, as well as some kitchen and living essentials. And this past weekend, J finished the finished area in the basement and the final coat of paint in the baby's room, so I'm finally starting to feel more like we are actually moving forward with the house changes versus the stagnation I was sensing before. We still have a ton of things to do, but getting the initial legwork out of the way makes everything else seem just a little bit more manageable. But then on the flipside of the manageability, I feel completely and utterly overwhelmed with everything I still need to do. And with the holidays coming, my anxiety is increasing tenfold. I went and started registering for baby stuff on Sunday, and I literally wanted to run out of the store screaming after about an hour and a half. Prior to registering I thought J and I had a good leg up on our purchases of the things we will need, but while going through the store with my scanner gun, I had a rude awakening - we are so not as prepared as I thought we were. I have three months to get it together, and since Sunday, I've been trying to use my wisemind and breathe and take things one step at a time, but it is certainly a challenge. I know we will manage and get through this last trimester successfully, it just seems I haven't been able to get a handle on my anxiety the past few days. Hopefully the anxiety will dissipate.
I think my emotional hormones have finally kicked in to some serious wackedness. I've been overly sensitive the past couple weeks...and that's putting it lightly. And the real kicker of it all is that I recognize when I'm being completely wacked, but just can't seem to help myself from proceeding down that trail.
Guess what? I read ZERO books during the month of September. ZERO. I read bits and pieces of What to Expect When You're Expecting and the Mayo Clinic's Complete Book of Pregnancy & Baby's First Year, but that's to be expected. For some reason, I did not do any reading for pleasure. Hmm. I did pick up my snail pace a bit in October, even if most of it could be construed as "mindless but enjoyable" reading. Whatever gets you through, right?Andre Dubus III, The Cage KeeperTerri Gerritson, The KeepsakeSteven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner, FreakonomicsLowis Lowry, The GiverJames Patterson, 3rd Degree James Patterson, 4th of JulyJames Patterson, The 5th HorsemanThe winner of the month was Freakonomics. It took me about 75 pages to really get into it, but once I did get into it, I plowed through it. The book's pace was quick, the writing was smart, and the insights were ones I never really considered/correlated before, so it kept my interest. Freakonomics is definitely worth a read. Runner-up of the month was The Keepsake. My awesome mom got me this book for some reason and I enjoyed it more than I thought I would - especially because I think it's a book that is/was part of an ongoing series I of which I am not familiar. It was the first book I read this month and it got me motivated to start reading for pleasure again. Thanks mom!
